Original air date: Nov 10, 1982.
Many family and teenage sitcoms of the 1980s and early 1990s were touched by the curse of the "Very Special Episode." For those not familiar, this was basically when a comedy went outside its element and tackled a serious moral issue plaguing society. I say "curse" because however well-intentioned they might have been, Very Special Episodes ("VSEs") usually failed in execution.
Sometimes the sitcom shied away from delving into the nasty specifics of the harm, resulting in a confusing vanilla episode. The Boy Meets World episode where Shawn joins a vague "cult" who's shown ill-intentions are simply to have kids play pool in some loser's rec center comes to mind. These types of VSEs were mostly forgotten. More often, though, a VSE is remembered for its unintentional humor. The sitcom either took on a legitimate serious issue with an eyerolling lack of subtlety and nuance (e.g., D.J.'s eating disorder in Full House) or eschewed reality altogether by creating a societal ill that doesn't exist (e.g., Jesse Spano "gets addicted" to caffeine pills in a Saved By the Bell episode that has pervaded popular culture). Typically, the tone of the VSE was such a jarring shift from the sitcom's typical inane flair that it was impossible to take the premise and the performances seriously.
If you define a VSE as I have, then you could argue that Family Ties had its healthy share of VSEs. There was drunk Uncle Ned, Uncle Rob's midlife crisis and family breakup, and the subject of this episode: wanna be sexual predator Uncle Arthur. (Anyone called "uncle" in Family Ties was destined to self-destruct.) Although I will label these as VSEs in this blog, a VSE in Family Ties did not stick out as oddly as many other sitcoms. Hell, some were great. I think this was because Family Ties frequently dealt with serious topics in its regular episodes (see the two prior episodes for examples). As a result, VSEs in Family Ties land did not feel that far afield from the typical subject matter, and the actors were better equipped to handle a weighty topic than Elizabeth Berkley.
Case in point is this week's episode. The societal plague du jour is inappropriate touching of underage girls; let's see what Family Ties does with it.
We open at the local public broadcasting station, WKS, and are reminded for the first time since the pilot of Steven's job. He's the station's general manager, and he's reviewing their dwindling list of monetary contributions with colleague Arthur Press, who's played by David Spielberg (nope; no relation). Reagan has dried up their grants, and the residents of Columbus are cheap as hell. Bottom line, the station is running on fumes.
Elise is present for some reason and "finds" a check for $500, which Steven doesn't give a shit about because it's from some deadbeat who's psychotic enough to send them a check that will bounce every week.
Steven takes a load off, and we learn through some clunky exposition that Arthur is retiring (or at least moving on) after 14 years in the biz.
The kids are very fond of Arthur. The writers scare you for a moment with Jennifer's big hug. But don't worry; she's not his target...
Steven tells Richard he's a dumbass, and pushes him off on Arthur. But Arthur says it's not his job anymore. Arthur's role at the station with respect to Steven is unclear, but he's definitely high up. Richard has more "exciting" news. Apparently, the geezer is currently waiting in Steven's office for him, so Steven has to vacate pronto.
Richard follows him so closely that he could be trying to hump his leg.
Jennifer remarks that Richard is Alex in 10 years, but aside from them both enjoying talking about themselves, I don't see much in common.
Downstairs calls and asks Arthur to send help to go through the station's archives, presumably in anticipation of the upcoming telethon/money-groveling display.
Everyone decides to go, but Arthur says it's only a three-person job, so Mallory volunteers to stay to "help with the phone campaign" because she loves talking on the phone. She's apparently oblivious to the fact that there's no telethon currently going on and thus no calls.
Arthur takes her hands and says she's become such a beautiful girl, then corrects himself: "young woman."
"Girl," Mallory says with a nervous smile, then adds: "Young girl." I like this scene because Mallory is not an idiot. Despite her polite smile, she knows which head Arthur is thinking with and tries to deescalate the situation. Arthur keeps going on about her looks despite Mal trying to respectfully change the topic to work-related matters.
Arthur's like, screw work: "First, give your Uncle Arthur a hug." Yeah, we're now in heebie jeebies territory.
She's aware the hug is lasting far too long.
When she tries to say something, Arthur's hand moves below the equator.
Mallory immediately pulls away. She quickly leaves the room without a word but with a glance back at the sexual deviant. I should note that "Uncle Arthur" is not actually related to the Keatons. It's a "term of affection," which in this context is perhaps creepier.
That evening when the Keatons return home, Steven announces they received $7,500 in pledges that day. Now I'm confused because we spent the whole first scene in the call center and no one was calling. As mentioned, the telethon is yet to come.
Steven, Elise, and Jennifer carry boxes of I don't know what into the living room. It looks like they raided the station's financial records. Alex is about to join them when Mallory stops him and asks to talk. Alex is annoyed because he wants to get in on the financial raiding.
Alex jokes around about her phrasing and says if she has questions about sex, he's the last person she should be talking to. I beg to differ. Did he forget what happened two episodes ago?
Mallory finally tells him to STFU.
Alex knows shit just got serious.
Mallory says she thinks Arthur "made a pass" at her at the station.
Without hearing anything more, Alex immediately gaslights her. He tells her to get real; Uncle Arthur's known her since she was born and used to bathe her as a baby. OK, that's weird.
But it leads to a funny retort when Mallory says she thinks he wants his old job back.
Alex says there must be a reasonable explanation, which causes Mallory to doubt herself and concedes maybe there is. Alex wants the play-by-play of what happened, and Mal gives it: Arthur held her hands, gave her a kiss, and then a hug. (I didn't see a kiss, but Arthur might have kissed the side of her forehead when he went in for the hug.)
Alex continues to gaslight her. Arthur kissed and hugged her? That's 'cause he's friendly. The hug was real tight? That's 'cause he's a warm person. He patted her ass? That's 'cause he's into baseball. ("How about those Cleveland Indians?")
Mallory pushes back a little, and Alex gets highly defensive. It's unclear why. Maybe he's secretly jealous that Arthur never bathed him as a baby. He flat out tells her Arthur "wouldn't do something like that." Case closed.
Alex acts so certain that Mal buys it and feels bad that she suspected Arthur of ill intentions. Alex says she shouldn't beat herself up over her baseless allegation. Mallory thanks Alex for being so supportive instead of his usual creepy self. Well Mal, that's just because there can be only one creep max per episode, and good ol' Uncle Artie Weinstein has that spot filled.
It's the next evening. Steven is practicing his pledge speech to the rest of the Keatons, plus Arthur. His friendly introduction quickly devolves into desperate groveling for money, and Alex cuts him off before he loses all his dignity. I like how Elise looks ready to jump Steven's bones, as though his pathetic pleas have turned her on.
Arthur loved the speech, or so he says. Since Mallory ain't giving him any, he decides to get all touchy feely with Steven and calls him "warm" and "appealing."
Everyone else is like yeah, whatever, but Steven rests his head on Arthur's shoulder and asks him to go on. Ehh...
Jennifer wants to be excused because she has a feeling this could get "sticky."
No comment.
Everyone starts heading into the kitchen for dessert, but Arthur stops Mallory to talk about what happened yesterday at the station.
Mallory plays dumb and is like "yeah, it was fun stuffing those envelopes."
Arthur says he isn't talking about stuffing envelopes, which makes sense because she didn't actually stuff an envelope. ...And neither did he. (Rimshot.)
Arthur, proudly pimping his Adonis shirt, goes on. He knows Mal thinks he made a pass at her, but that wasn't what he was doing. He was just so happy to see her that he gave her too big a hug. He thinks of her only as Little Mallory, and he wants her to think of him only as Uncle Arthur.
Mallory cheerfully agrees, relieved.
Arthur apologizes if he made her feel awkward, and Mal apologizes for jumping to conclusions.
They agree on no hard feelings, and just as it seems everything is settled...
...Arthur decides he wants dessert after all.
Again, Mallory pulls away, silent and distraught.
As she exits the room, Arthur smacks his head, and the show fades for the commercial break.
This sequence, while good, is a bit odd because it initially comes across like Arthur is grooming her. But then the writers were all, this is a 24 minute sitcom, no time for grooming. So, he abruptly plants one on her, and with her parents in the next room to boot. Then again, Arthur doesn't seem like a guy with a plan. He's all kinds of screwed up.
We fast forward to the next night. Steven is again rehearsing his speech, although this time Arthur is absent. Steven has decided to abruptly pivot his fundraising strategy from pathetic despair to nonchalant apathy. The speech still sucks.
As Steven starts to head upstairs to work on it, he stops and cheerfully tells the family he's going to say a few nice words about Arthur on camera since he's leaving and all, which Mallory is less than thrilled about.
Steven then reads his Arthur speech, during which Mal repeatedly makes snarky quips under her breath.
This second speech is even worse, ending with: "So, Arthur, it is with sadness that I say 'adieu.' But I know that at WGGK they'll say 'howdy do...to you!'"
Elise and Jennifer are all ehhhh...
Alex has no words; he just stares.
Elise encourages Steven, who goes upstairs to tweak the Arthur speech.
When Elise and Jennifer go to clean the kitchen, Mallory has Alex stay behind. This time she's more direct and tells him straight-up how Arthur kissed her last night.
Alex finally realizes he's out of his depth and sucks at giving advice, so he does the only logical thing and calls "Mom!", quickly excusing himself so Elise can deal with this.
Mallory comes clean to Elise, giving her the CliffsNotes version of how Arthur touched and kissed her over the past two days.
When Elise, shocked, asks if he hurt her, Mallory breaks down and says no but she's so embarrassed, which is pretty gut-wrenching.
Elise, of course, tells her she has no reason to be embarrassed and she didn't do anything wrong. But Elise is also all about confronting Arthur to get some answers.
Mallory just wants to pretend it never happened. But Elise says they have to make sure he never does this to her or any other girl again.
Elise relates how something similar happened to her growing up, also by a family friend. She originally thought it was her fault or that she misinterpreted what he did, echoing Mallory's initial doubts that Alex had latched on.
Mallory is concerned about bringing this out in the open because Steven and Arthur are such good friends. Elise agrees it won't be easy and decides she'll confront Arthur without getting Steven involved.
Steven then appears on the landing to give his revised speech of praise for Saint Arthur, which quickly drives the ladies into the kitchen.
It's the day of the telethon, y'all! Richard tells Steven he has three minutes until airtime. The station is just finishing its broadcast of Arthur's last prized documentary, "Fertilizer: Your Silent Friend in the Garden." For once, Richard shows sense and proclaims that Arthur's documentary sucks.
Steven lectures Richard, stating Arthur was instrumental in public broadcasting and to show him some respect. Richard is all yeah, whatever, and he effs off.
Alex and Jennifer show up to give Steven encouragement for his speech and to work the phones (see this is when the phones are ringing), and Jennifer reminds him to maintain his pride.
Elise and Mallory arrive and barely give Steven the time of day. Elise is all Mama Bear and demands to know where Arthur is, while Mallory takes her seat at a phone. Steven asks Elise if anything is wrong, which she denies.
Arthur then enters, singing his own praises about his shitty fertilizer documentary (pun!), and Steven looks up in adoration as though he were Mike Wallace.
Arthur seems completely nonplussed about what took place over the past couple days, consistent with how predators often operate. The more boundaries they cross without consequence, the more immune they feel. He likely assumes Mallory kept her pretty little mouth shut (after he'd tried to pry it open).
Richard fires off another jab about the documentary; he's in a pissy mood. Maybe he tried sprinkling some fertilizer on his head, and all he got what that stupid afro.
Elise says she wants to "talk" to Arthur, which involves her rushing him from the steps and grabbing his collar. As she's about to throw him over a table, it's suddenly airtime.
Steven lounges and flashes his best Mr. Rogers grin to the camera. With smarmy charm, he welcomes to pledge week the tens of viewers watching. He laments that WKS will not be able to bring "quality documentaries" to them unless they break open their retirement funds.
The gag here is that Steven continues with his relaxed "on air" persona, languidly going on about the hard-working station workers and volunteers, while completely obvious to Elise trying to take Arthur's head off in the background.
By the time he goes to introduce his wife, Elise has ripped out Arthur's phone cord and very well may strangle him with it. Steven finally notices something's off and asks what's going on. Elise shoves Arthur to the ground and announces, on live TV, "He tried to seduce our daughter!"
The station's camera operator goes all extreme close-up a la Wayne's World, as Steven's befuddled head suddenly fills the screen. He then turns to address the audience with a pasted smile: "We'll be right back."
After a blackout, Elise and Steve are confronting Arthur downstairs. Steven asks Arthur for one reason why he shouldn't kill him, and Arthur denies anything happened. He's a terrible liar, though, and he soon confesses to it all.
Arthur apologizes and goes all whoa is me. He claims he doesn't know what's happening to him and blames his "crazy" actions (and his crappy wardrobe) on his recent divorce. Elise calls him on his bullshit.
Steven's doing an impressive job controlling his fury, but you can tell Arthur's one step away from a Keaton Knockdown.
Arthur throws himself another pity parade. He recalls a time when everything went right for him. He was the one who had propped up Sesame Street and helped put the "Big' in "Big Bird."
He never liked Mr. Rogers, though, which is a bridge too far for Steven, who tells him he needs to STFU and get some professional help.
Richard scrambles down the steps and freaks the hell out at Steven because they've been treading water with the telethon. Richard hummed on air for 20 minutes straight and now Jennifer's twirling a baton. Apparently, both of these are better options than re-running Arthur's fertilizer documentary.
Off-screen we hear Jennifer break something glass (a camera?), and Steven and Elise race off with Richard, leaving Arthur alone.
Mallory runs in looking for her father and halts when she sees Arthur. As she goes to leave, Arthur stops her and apologizes. Mallory says nothing and again starts off.
But she stops when Arthur says he's ashamed. Mallory evenly challenges him: "How could you do that to me?" He claims not to know but admits he has a problem. He doesn't expect her to forgive him but hopes that someday he can be her "Uncle Arthur" again. (Ick.)
He extends his hand to Mallory...
...who just stares at him dispassionately.
Finally, Arthur slinks off with his head down, passing Steven who comes running back in.
Steven, of course, immediately goes to Mallory, who assures him that they were "just talking" and she's "okay."
They share a nice moment, when Richard again hurries in bother Steven. It's finally time for Steven's big speech. However, for once, Richard actually seems to pick up on a social cue and backs off.
Mallory tells Steven he should go make his speech. Steven wishes she had come to him first: she's his daughter; nothing is more important than his family...and "Uncle Arthur" ain't a real uncle. Mallory says she's older, and it's not as easy anymore.
As Steven starts back to the studio, Mal abruptly says: "I love you, Dad."
"I love you too." Roll credits.
This is a solid episode, and not just by VSE standards. It's the first real Mallory-centric episode, and Justine Bateman nailed her performance. The writers helped by giving Mallory a well-defined and believable character arc. She starts as a friendly, enthusiastic girl quickly turned scared and self-doubting when she's caught up in something she can't comprehend. But she grows throughout the episode. By the end, she's still scared (note how she grips the ladder), yet she's now on strong and certain ground. Her last scene with Arthur is her best work in the series so far (granted, we're still very early in). There's much nuance in her body language and eyes. It's an impressively mature performance.
It's nice to see the other Keatons, sans Jennifer, get their own individual involvement in Mallory's dilemma. Alex's "help" was frustrating, but he's a narrow-minded kid, so I can buy that. Elise's interaction with Mallory was touching, as was Steven's. As for Arthur, David Spielberg does an OK (not great) job playing a disturbed creep, which I can't imagine is easy for any actor. His performance is somewhat stilted, and the writers gave him a couple laugh lines that didn't match the tone. Also, there were a few plot contrivances to fit this troubling tale into just 24 minutes.
My wife picked up on something interesting about Mallory's wardrobe in her scenes with Arthur. She starts in a bright and youthful outfit: yellow pants and light blue sweater over a casual yellow top that, while not too revealing, is not entirely modest. The next day, she's in a light blue top but is fully covered, and she's in dark gray pants. On the last day, she's in a full black suit. Of course, it would make sense to dress formally for the telethon, but the change is nevertheless a clear motif of her growing maturity and a nice visual touch.
My grade: B+
Firsts: The station; Richard